1+1=11
I was this close to murdering our group synergy in cold blood.
Two months prior I had accepted the volunteer interim youth director role at my church and I was stretched to my limits in regards to my time and energy. Though I admit it seemed I was in over my head at times, things seemed to be going really well! Our weekly gathering was functioning smoothly, leaders were all engaged and excited, and we had our eyes set on a youth retreat and missions trip in the near of future. As we gathered together that November night as a leadership team to plan and prepare for the coming year, I felt good. Tired, but good.
Then one of the leaders had an idea.
He pointed out that it seemed like the high school students were somewhat disenchanted with the level of fun and age-appropriate engagement we had for them each week, and rightfully so. We all knew that combining middle school and high school students together created a bit of an awkward environment for the high schoolers, and it was a problem we really wanted to solve. However, despite the fact that I knew this was a problem for the culture we were trying to create, I was in no way excited about adding yet another responsibility to my plate.
That’s why, when he proposed creating a hangout time after youth group just for the high schoolers, my spine stiffened. I could feel my inner self-preservation ninja emerge slowly from the shadows, throwing star in hand. No matter how good the idea was, there was no way we could do this. Of course I wanted to address the problem we all saw, but there simply was no way to do it (or so I told myself). So, I began to graciously compliment him for his idea while letting him know that there was no way to make it happen. Surely he would understand my logic and reasoning. And if not, I would have no choice but to close my eyes and let the ninja do what ninjas do.
That’s when something began to change. It was like an electric spark was lit in the room. Other leaders began to echo the enthusiasm from the first leader. They talked about how much they liked the idea of adding something else to the agenda as a way to create a fun and enjoyable experience that was partially lacking for our high schoolers. And before any ninja star could lodge itself into the chest of the creative energy beginning to emerge, I started to reluctantly ask myself, “What if we COULD make this happen?”. As I mulled over the possibility, I rejoined the discussion, this time from the other side of the battle line. “Okay, WHAT IF this became a thing? Who would lead it? Where would it be? What could we call it?” After that, the floodgates were opened. Ideas began to flow but ONLY because I had chosen to stop thinking from merely my point of view and to start thinking from the collective point of view of the group. The first leader was eager to take responsibility for the project and, within a month, we introduced “Yogurt and Chill”, the youth group after party for the high school students to gather around frozen yogurt for some time to just chill together as friends. It was incredible.
1 + 1 = 11
What happened that night was something very exciting! We had created something that had never existed for our youth group. It goes without saying that the success of that night had rested on a throwing star’s edge, all because of me and my initial lack of faith in what we could accomplish as a team. Too often we as leaders find ourselves in this type of situation, trying to join hands with others to create something incredible only to be thwarted by ourselves. What I discovered that night is something that all effective leaders must discover: the power of synergistic problem solving. Synergy is the magical phenomenon that occurs when the whole is greater than the sum of its’ parts. Instead of 1+1=2, the equations morphs and becomes 1+1=11! In his book ‘The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People’, author Stephen Covey described synergy by saying, “It means that the relationship which the parts have to each other is a part in and of itself. It is not only a part, but the most catalytic, the most empowering, the most unifying, and the most exciting part.” In our situation, we began the night without synergy. We were several people coming together who, by ourselves, could not create a workable solution to the problem our high schoolers had. However, once we came together and allowed ourselves the freedom and space to ideate, an idea emerged that most likely would not have come forth if we had all spent the same amount of time thinking about it but on our own. Our relationship with each other in that moment became an active creative force! By combining our different perspectives, taste, and experience, we were able to discover a powerful, synergistic solution.
And I almost murdered it.
It Almost Didn’t Happen
I started that night focusing on myself. I came to the table fixated on what my time limits were and then formed my ideas of what was possible based solely on those constraints. One of the most paramount foundational requirements for creating synergy is trust, and to be honest I was struggling to trust my teammates. Maybe you can relate? As a leader, it can be difficult to release control over projects or responsibilities. By not seeking to discover what others have to offer to the solution creation process, we squelch the flow of new and creative ideas. It is only when we embrace what others have to bring to the table that we can experience the power of synergistic problem solving. By allowing myself to trust my team and consider their strengths, resources, and perspectives, we were able to overcome my shortcomings as a leader.
Just like improvement as an athlete, musician, or speaker requires dedicated practice and focused training, so does the skill of orchestrating synergy. Too many times in my leadership I have tried to generate synergy and failed. However, it is only through trying and failing, and then trying and failing again, that we are able to develop the strength and skills to create a nurturing environment that supports and sustains synergistic creativity. Through my journey of growing in this ability I have discovered that one of the best markers to gauge where I am at in my strength as a leader is how quickly I can process information and then make a decision accordingly. Often times as leaders we are not given much time to decide upon a solution and we must very quickly factor in all of the relevant factors, synthesize the information, and propose a solution that appropriately addresses the problem. On the day before my wedding, I discovered how much room I had to grow in this area. We were running behind schedule on the wedding rehearsal and family and friends had already started showing up for the rehearsal dinner. I wanted to go ahead and quickly finish up the rehearsal and my fiancée (now wife) was concerned about the unattended guests (not to mention how “hungry” was quickly morphing into “hangry” for many). There was no time to sit and fully explain our feelings, our values, and where we were coming from, and I had to make a quick decision. So, I decided that we would continue the practice for just a little bit longer.
Wrong move.
Later I learned how, in my haste, I had failed to account for the preferences and values of my wife and others in that moment. My decision-making muscle was not strong enough to factor in all of the necessary pieces of information and, hence, I made a decision that was very much NOT synergistic. I had turned the equation into 1+1= ½. Instead of murdering the synergy magic, I could have instead decided to factor in other peoples’ points of view by choosing to end practice early so that the new guests could be cared for while also ensuring that feelings of hanger were averted. Then later I could have worked with our wedding coordinator to ensure that my values of preparation for the big day were achieved.
“By not seeking to discover what others have to offer to the solution creation process, we squelch the flow of new and creative ideas. It is only when we embrace what others have to bring to the table that we can experience the power of synergistic problem solving.”
Why Did It Work?
If we jump back to our first story, we can see that, despite my weaknesses as a leader and how I almost kept the magic from happening, clearly something was right given the positive result. As I have looked back at this and other moments of synergistic solution creation (or lack thereof), I have identified three important steps in this:
- Build Trust
- Ask “What if?”
- Practice
Build Trust
The first and most important step is building trust. As I said earlier, I found myself struggling to trust my team in that moment. However, thanks to a surplus of trust in my relationship bank accounts with the team members, we were still able to come together and make the magic happen. This is often the first thing that leaders get wrong when they try to create ideas in a group. They try to force their teammates to pour out their creative juices without first doing the hard work of earning their trust. I always say that love can be given but trust must be earned. The hard part about building trust is that it accumulates very slowly. In order to build trust amongst your team, it requires an extended period of time of prioritizing them in both small and big ways. It means asking them about how their weekend was before jumping in to giving them their tasks. It means asking the quiet team member on the team what their opinion is when no one else will. It means publicly admitting your faults and errors when you mess up. These may seem like little things but believe me, they add up. Only once you have built trust amongst each other will you be able to create an environment where your people feel safe to let down their guard and add their creativity to the synergy pot.
“The hard part about building trust is that it accumulates very slowly. In order to build trust amongst your team, it requires an extended period of time of prioritizing them in both small and big ways.”
Ask “What If?”
Did you know that “what” and “if”, when combined, are two of the most powerful words in the human language? Think about it. Without “What if”, we would continue to be content with the mundane and typical. “What if” implies the possibility of a better future, one where a part of it is somehow better than the present. It wasn’t until I asked myself “WHAT IF this idea could work?” that I removed the logs that were jamming our stream of creative synergy. In order to become skilled at facilitating synergy, we must ensure that the question “What If?” is an integral part of our vocabulary.
It is equally important to recognize that while, on the one hand, “What if?” has the power to shape the future in a more positive way, it has the inverse capability to damn it. “WHAT IF the leaders don’t come through and I have to pick up the slack? WHAT IF all the students think it’s a dumb idea and we lose even more interest? WHAT IF we find out that it’s a lot harder than we thought?”. These are all “what if’s” I could have focused on and doing so would undoubtedly have changed the result. If you’re serious about creating synergistic solutions, you must lead the charge by shaking your fist at the sky of today while blowing the trumpet in celebration of tomorrow.
“Only once you have built trust amongst each other will you be able to create an environment where people feel safe to let down their guard and add their creativity to the synergy pot.”
Practice
My karate instructors used to tell me, “Practice doesn’t make perfect. PERFECT practice makes perfect.” If we want to become leaders skilled in the art of synergy, we must do more than blindly blunder from one failed attempt to another. Instead, we must lift up our eyes and in order to fixate them upon our destination, the place where synergistic solutions are allowed to flourish. Then we must intentionally plot our course accordingly. This is what perfect practice means. Obviously we will make mistakes along the way, so don’t think that I’m saying we aren’t allowed to make mistakes. Instead, what I’m saying is that the important thing is to keep the goal in mind as we work on strengthening our synergy muscles.
“Practice doesn’t make perfect. PERFECT practice makes perfect.”
Start out with grace for yourself when you make mistakes, but quickly follow that grace with a strategy on how to not fall in that same hole. For me, this means recognizing my struggle with trusting that my teammates have great value they can bring to the table and that I must celebrate it to achieve the optimal synergistic solution. It also means admitting my weakness in processing information fast enough in order to choose solutions that recognize others’ desires and then choosing to strategically focus on growing that specific skillset of mine when future opportunities arise. Don’t waste your growth opportunities by applying the same mindset to a problem that has already failed you before (some might even call this the definition of “insanity”).
Murderer to Creator
If you’ve ever been a part of a successful collaborative effort, you’ve felt the electrifying flood of synergy as it joined the creative spirits of the participants in a way that can only be described as “ethereal”. It’s as if the excitement is palpable, making you want to scoop it into a mason jar and save it for the times in your life when that energy seems so lacking. Well, my friend, with the right practices and intentionality, there is no need for mason jars. Once we take the time to Build Trust within our teams, incorporate the question “What If?” into our regular vocabulary, and Practice in a focused and intentional manner, we can begin to take our leadership capacity to the next level by transforming into creative synergistic problem solvers. By choosing to grow in these three areas, you can move from being a synergy murderer to a synergy creator.
Only then will 1+1=11.